Actions Speak Louder
by SpaceGeek
Summary: A song gets Mac thinking about the men in her life, two men spacificaly. HM


Disclaimer: I own nothing! Mac, Jen, Mattie, and Clay belong to Bellisario and CBS. The song "Measure of a Man" by Clay Aiken does not belong to me either. 

A.N.: This isn't really my first fanfic, but it's the first I've posted. I have no clue where this idea came from, but as I was listening to this song, working on it for my ASL final, I started thinking of Harm and Mac.   
  


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Actions Speak Louder

Mac plopped on the couch pulling her burger from her take out bag. It was late, but she hadn't eaten since breakfast and knew she would pay if she went to bed with out eating something. She picked up her stereo controls and pushed play. The sound of Clay Aiken drifted through the dim room. It was not a CD she would have bought herself, but it was a gift from Mattie. Mac smiled at the memory, it hadn't been her birthday, or Christmas, nor any other gift-giving holiday. _"A thank you gift, for all you've done for Harm and me."_ The young girl had told her. The song changed and the gentle strains of a piano began.

If one day you discover him

Broken down he's lost everything

No cars, no fancy clothes

To make him who he's not

The woman at his side 

Is all that he had got

Why do you ask him move heaven and earth

To prove his love has worth?

Mac tossed her trash on the coffee table and sat back. Her eyes widened as she listened, realizing the similarities to her relationship to the only man she truly loved.

Would he walk on water?

Would he run through fire?

Would he stand before you

When it's down to the wire?

Would he give his life up

To be all he can?

Is that, is that, is that 

How you measure a man?

She knew that he would do anything for her, or at least he would have. She wasn't sure where they stood now. He had nearly given his life for her to be happy, by trying to make it home for her wedding. Then last year he gave up everything he had to find her in Paraguay, and saved her from her captors. He had literally given up his life, because the Navy was his life, or at least it use to be. He had Mattie now. True Mic had given up his career and moved half way around the world for her, but that was different; he had never risked his life for hers. 

If by chance all he had to give you 

Was three words wrapped around your finger

Would that be deep enough 

At the end of every day?

And how will you ever know

If a man is what he says?

Why do you ask him move heaven and earth

To prove his love has worth?

All she wanted was him to say those three words. She could care less about anything else if he would just say it, If she could just come home to him at the end of the day. Mac sighed as she lay down on the couch and though about the men in her life. None of them had ever been what they say. All those since she had recovered from being an alcoholic had drank in front of her and even showed up drunk at her house. Clay was a perfect example; he always had a bottle of something. He even left some at her apartment, almost as if taunting her, tempting her to fall off the wagon again. Harm on the other hand rarely drank around her. He always tried to make her comfortable. One of the few who knew almost her entire past and didn't judge her and try and change her. All of the men in her life had openly told her they loved her, but Harm was the only one who never said it. What was it people were always saying…actions speak louder than words. He may be silent when it comes to his feelings, but his actions were loud and clear.

He never gives up

Lets go of his dreams

His world goes around

For his one true belief.

Is that how you Know?

Is that what it means?

Harm never gave up, not if it was worth while. He never gave up finding his father until he found the truth. He fought for justice, both in and out of the courtroom, and didn't give up until it had won. He'll never give up on Mattie, she was too important to him. Harm has never given up on her either…or had he? Mac shook her head trying to banish that thought. He couldn't have given up on her yet, she was ready and she thought that he was too. But he had Mattie; his world revolved around her now. She resisted the urge to pick up the phone to call him, if only to hear his voice.

Would he walk on water?

Would he run through fire?

Would he stand before you?

Will he be your anchor 

When the dark unfolds?

He had always been her anchor. With the poachers, Coster, The crazy doctor on the sub…he was always there when she needed him. When she entered the courtroom drunk he was there when the other men in her life would have walked out and never looked back. She let the tears fall as the song ended. He was her anchor in the darkness of Paraguay. After she and Clay had been captured, it was the memory of Harm that kept her from breaking down. When she was on that table and was going to be tortured she prayed that he would save her, carry her off into the sunset on his white horse. She was prepared for a slow painful death and was surprised to see him burst into the room…her prayer had been answered. Yet she was an ingrate and never even thanked him. It wasn't that she was mad at him for coming to her rescue, she was thankful he had showed up. In her mind she would forever be in his debt, and helping him get custody of Mattie was her way of Showing him her gratitude and that they were still friends in her book.

Wiping the tears from her face Mac turned off her stereo and picked up the phone. She knew it was late, but she had to say thank you.

"Hello, Jennifer, this is Mac, I'm sorry to call so late."

"That's all right ma'am, we're still doing homework. Is everything all right?"

"Everything's fine Jen," Mac tried to keep her voice even. "Is Mattie still up?"

"Yes, ma'am, I'll get her for you."

A few minute later Mac was greeted by the exuberant teen. "Hi Mac."

Mac laughed at the energy in the young girl's voice even at one in the morning. "Hi, Mattie, burning the midnight oil, I hear."

"Yeah, good thing Harm's already in bed, he'd flip if he knew I was still up."

"Paper or test?"

"Both. Actually, I have an English and history paper due tomorrow, and a test in English and in science…So, what's up Mac?" Mattie asked, wondering what the colonel was doing up.

"I just wanted to say thank you, for the CD…I listened to the song you recommended."

"And…" Mac could hear Mattie's smile.

"And it helped me realize a few things."

"Such as…"

"Such as, things you don't need to Know Miss. Mattie…Goodnight Mattie."

" 'Night Mac…hey, Mac."

"Yeah,"

"My mom use to tell me that our actions speak louder than our words."

"Thank you Mattie, now go to bed, you have a test tomorrow, you'll do better with a good nights rest." Mac jumped as someone started pounding on her door.

"Yes, mom." The person pounded louder. "Is everything okay?" Mattie was concerned, it was after one in the morning, no one should be trying to find Mac.

"Everything's fine Mattie…Good night."

" 'Night Mac."

Mac hung up the phone and cautiously made her way to the door. She flipped on the living room light and looked out the peephole. To her disgust she had guest right as to whom, or what, was out side her door. She opened the door.

"Clay, what are you doing here?"

"I came to see my girl." He slurred.

Mac backed away, she didn't need to get closer to smell the liquor on him. "You're drunk, Clay." She took another step back when she saw the look in his eyes. It was the same look she remembered seeing in her father's eyes when he would come home. "I'm calling you a cab."

She turned to get her phone but was stopped by Clay's hand grasping her arm. "No, I'm staying here tonight." He said as he tightened his grip o her arm. Involuntarily she gasped in pain.

"Let me go Clay." She tried to pull free, but he just tightened his hold.

Finally he had enough and threw her against the kitchen counter, her shoulder hitting the edge. Mac looked up in horror at the man who was making her live her childhood fears. The moment she looked up, Clayton Web realized what he had done.

"Sarah…I'm…I'm sorry…"

Mac stood up. "get out of here." The venom in her voice startled him.

Unlike Harm, Clayton Webb knew vary little about Sarah Mackenzie, other than what was in her file. Obediently, web left the apartment building, calling himself a cab on the way down.

After he was gone, Mac re-locked the door. Sighing heavily she leans against it, wincing as her tender shoulder came into contact with the hard surface. Standing there she assessed her injuries. Both her shoulder and arm would have colorful bruises, but thankfully, her uniform would hide them both. Turning off the lights she crawled into bed and lay there. She stared at the phone. She knew if she called him he'd come. But she remembered his comments about the men she chose.

"Just face it Mackenzie," she whispered to herself, letting the tears fall. "You've finally found someone to take the place of Joe Mackenzie."


End file.
